But by the front door, a few items put a little gay in this gala. Twin candied apples iced to look like tuxedos stood on a table. There was a banner for marrymegay that advertised videographers who can do “elegant and beautiful” — or “so camp and fabulous you’ll be squealing with delight each time you watch it.”
And then there was Sheila Gay Gross, an ordained interfaith minister who has joined about a dozen New Jersey couples in civil unions. She was offering to officiate at even more ceremonies using words like “I now pronounce you as one, united legally as you already are in mind, heart, body and soul.”
The state’s first Gay and Lesbian Wedding Expo, held here Wednesday night, came six months after the New Jersey Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples deserve the same rights as heterosexual married ones. And that evidently includes the right to a ride in a stretch Cadillac sport utility vehicle.
Preliminary figures released Tuesday by the state showed that just 229 of New Jersey’s estimated 22,000 same-sex couples had received licenses for civil unions in the month since they became available Feb. 19.
Although some gay-rights advocates have attributed the low turnout to couples holding out for the right to get married, many of the browsers at the expo said they were just waiting to finish their fancy plans before making it legal.
Marcie Horowitz and Margaret Maloney of Westfield, partners for 22 years, stood near a display of tiaras and flower girl dresses as they discussed their upcoming ceremony. Ms. Malone noted that no one at the convention hall was referring to the ceremonies as civil unions.
“Everyone’s saying marriage or wedding,” she said.
Ms. Horowitz laughed, recalling how people had been congratulating her on her engagement, which is not a term she uses. The right language, however, is hard to come by.
“You say to people, ‘I’m getting ...’ what?” Ms. Horowitz said.
“Civil unioned,” “civilly united” or “unionized,” perhaps?
“Now we say to people we’re getting married,” Ms. Maloney said.
One entertainer who was looking for work found himself stumbling over his own words when he noted that at one civil union he worked, everyone was “just as normal as everybody else.” He quickly backtracked, switching “normal” to “comfortable.”
At least one shopper could be heard wishing that there were more gay vendors, but for the most part, that did not seem to be a problem.
“Everyone seems very open, but I’d be surprised here if they didn’t get it,” said Andy McGibbon of West Milford, who was planning a celebration for Nov. 10, the 11th anniversary of the day he met his partner, Walter Solares. “How could you not get it? It’s like found money.”
The potential for profits is huge. Forbes magazine reported in 2004 that if all the same-sex couples in the United States were allowed to marry, they could expect to spend $16.8 billion on their weddings.
Eddy Sousa, who runs the Sandy Hook Cottage Bed and Breakfast in Highlands with his life partner, Nick Evangelista, is looking to tap that market. He arranges ceremonies for gay couples on a catamaran or with a lighthouse as backdrop.
“Some people are waiting because they want the name” of marriage, Mr. Sousa said, “but they need the protections now.”
Lisa Drozd, owner of the American Bridal Show Company, which sponsored the show, said 84 businesses and 127 couples attended. Another expo is planned for Sept. 18 in Somerset.
Ms. Drozd said she saw different decision-making processes at work among couples at the Gay and Lesbian Wedding Expo than she sees among straight couples. “Often just the bride is bringing along a girlfriend,” she said. “You don’t have both decision-makers. There’s such a different commitment to planning the event together here.”
